Back when I was starting to learn about coaching in 2019 I reached a turning point quite early on. It hit me that when people don’t do certain things it’s not because they “can’t” but because of a simple lack of proper action or commitment. If someone wants to lose weight but doesn’t, it’s not because they have a fixed personality that blocks them, they simply don’t take the action necessary to lose it. If someone wants to become a great basketball player, they just have to put in the time and they’ll become one.
Once I saw this, it became clear to me that since taking action is a key element of achievement and since everyone can take action, nobody is better than anybody else. Everyone is capable of extraordinary —and ordinary— feats, because taking action is the essential requirement, being special is not part of the equation. It then becomes unwise to look down on people since everyone is capable of doing. That to me makes us all equal and it makes it obvious that it is important to be humble in life.
Humility comes with knowing that neither I nor anybody else is imbued with any mysterious or special quality that makes me or them neither better nor worse than others. It’s not just about seeing that we’re not special, it’s also about seeing we’re not less than anybody else. I think that becoming a person that doesn’t size people up is a great way to have good relationships, people feel that they’re not judged and they can relax around us. This fact of life has helped me improve both as a coach and as a human being. That is so because “you can’t” is something you rarely will hear me say, imagine what kind of coach —and human being— I’d be if I was going around cutting down people’s wings.